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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29842779">Hollow Crown</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/semper_shooketh_succulent/pseuds/semper_shooketh_succulent'>semper_shooketh_succulent</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Battle, Kinda?, M/M, Medieval Royalty, Post-Battle, Post-War, Reunion, Some angst, Supposed enemies, War, but not really cause it's from the command center, loyalties being questioned, renjun up to sneaky shenanigans, reunion after forced separation, squint and you'll miss it implied markhyuck, tiniest hint of blood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:33:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29842779</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/semper_shooketh_succulent/pseuds/semper_shooketh_succulent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The masked soldier surveys the room, his eyes cold and piercing. Renjun is suddenly thankful for the general standing in front of him.</p><p>“Who gave the order for the charge?”</p><p>Shit.</p><p> </p><p>Or: Renjun just wants to see the sunrise</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hollow Crown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This started as an idea for a single scene, but then I wanted to add context, and here were are 8k later.<br/>There is like the absolute minimum of worldbuilding, but all you really need to know is that Renjun lives in a BIG city which is divided into wards. They're basically just a series of increasing circles. The first ward is the palace, which is the very middle of the city, the second ward is a slightly bigger circle, outside that, and then the third and so on.</p><p>First ward- is the palace<br/>Second ward- is residential for rich/important citizens<br/>Third ward- artisan and fine goods sector<br/>Fourth ward- food/regular market<br/>Fifth ward- is residential for most regular citizens<br/>Sixth ward- is manufacturing<br/>Seventh ward- is livestock/farming/gardening</p><p>Title inspired by Ellie Goulding's song of the same name. I just listened to the whole For the Throne album on repeat while writing this, so go listen to that for vibes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Renjun’s steps echo as he sprints down the empty corridor. He ignores the dull ache in his side, fear simmering in his stomach and urging him to keep moving. Passing an open window, he can clearly smell smoke, which only serves to hasten his pace. If there is burning near enough to the castle for him to smell it, then something is horribly wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His thoughts are a jumbled mess as he nears the throne room. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How? How was this possible?</span>
  </em>
  <span> They'd been at war for almost three years, but all the fighting had taken place miles away from the capital. In fact, the last reports had put the nearest soldiers at least a few days away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not to mention, even if the Southern Army managed to make it to the capital, they didn’t have the manpower to attack. While the Southern Army was well known as one of the most dangerous out of all the kingdoms, it was still one of the smallest. They were more than capable of inflicting substantial damage, but the Northern Capital was </span>
  <em>
    <span>huge</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Any fighting would’ve occurred in the outer wards, and there was no possible way they’d gotten close enough to the Palace that Renjun could smell smoke in the few hours since he’d gone to bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His thoughts tangled and clawed at each other as he desperately tried to make sense of the situation. The soldier who had awoken him had only said that the king needed to see him urgently. Renjun had thrown on the first clothes he’d grabbed, before shoving his feet into a pair of boots and running out the door. He hadn’t even had the time to wake up Chenle or any of his servants to give them any directions. Not that he would’ve known what directions to give them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun had half a moment to regret not wearing warmer clothing before he skidded to a halt in front of the doors to the throne room. He took a deep breath and attempted to smooth down his clothes before pushing open the doors. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite the hour, the throne room was full of the various advisors and the lords of the court. They were congregated around a giant map of the capital, and as Renjun got closer he could see the various figurines representing soldiers being moved around. The red was typically used for the ones defending the capital, which meant the black was for the enemy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The entire city up to the wall that separated the third and fourth wards was covered in black.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huang!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun jerked his gaze away from where it had been fixed on the map. He quickly smoothed his expression from one of shock and fear to a neutral one, a skill he’d perfected, and moved towards the throne. When he reached the foot, he bowed deeply and remained in that position for a moment, before straightening up to look at the King of the North.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You called for me, Your Majesty?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the advisors next to the king leaned down to whisper in his ear, but the King brushed him off, fixing his gaze on Renjun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need you to advise the troops on what to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wh-What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell the troops what to do Huang. Are you hard of hearing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“N-No Your Majesty. I’m just- I don’t quite understand what is happening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The King pushed off the throne and strode down the steps. He brushed past Renjun and continued toward the map. The lords surrounding it hurriedly moved aside to make room for him to stop at the head. Renjun scurried after him, coming up to the table in time to see the King gesture at the expanse of black covering it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are under attack. The Eastern Kingdom has apparently formed an alliance with the South and their combined forces attacked the outer wards a few hours ago. They somehow knew the exact position of the watchtowers and managed to infiltrate them so we didn’t realize what was happening until an hour ago. Right now, the main attacking force appears Southern-'' He points at the black covering up the fourth ward, “-and as the only Southerner in my court, I need you to analyze their strategies and advise the generals what to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s gut clenches and for a moment, he feels like throwing up. He might’ve renounced his loyalty to the South, might’ve served the King for years with plans to continue doing so for the foreseeable future, but he’d never actually fought against his former home. Just the idea gives him pause.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Part of the reason for the South’s formidable army is the advanced training every soldier undergoes. In addition to rigorous hand-to-hand combat and strategy, they are placed in small platoons for the entirety of their training, most of which become closer than families. The bond between members was a fierce one and often credited as one of the reasons why the South was so dangerous. Despite Renjun’s shortened service period, and everything that had happened since then, his platoon members were still on the very short list of people he would die for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Using his knowledge of their battle tactics against them, against his former brothers? This wasn’t a chess game, where the biggest causality was a carved piece of stone. It would result in people dying. Because of his orders. On his orders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The King seemed to notice his hesitation, and if his gaze was tangible it would’ve cut through Renjun, torn him to ribbons.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you understand your orders, Huang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a split second, Renjun feels suspended in time. He feels the weight of every decision, every sacrifice he made to be standing here. He thinks of Chenle, sleeping soundly in his bed, of Donghyuck’s knowing gaze even before he’d been imprisoned, of everything he’d bargained and wheedled and traded in an effort to keep them and countless others safe. He remembers Doyoung’s voice, the last words he’d told Renjun before the boy had left home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Court is a treacherous place. No matter how safe you think you are, you’ll have to be careful.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wear the mask. Play the game. Don’t get caught.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He straightens, takes a breath, and fixes his gaze determinedly on the table, already analyzing the various formations, already looking for weak spots. He’s come too far to give up now. The only option is to finish with everything he has.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Your Majesty.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun all but collapsed into one of the chairs flanking the map table. He wasn’t sure how long he’s been standing there, watching the reports roll in and offering suggestions to the generals in the room but it felt like hours. There weren’t any windows in the throne room, so he didn’t know if it was still dark outside. He found himself wondering if the sun had risen. It would be lovely to watch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had at least a few moments of rest- one of the messengers had just arrived and was frantically updating the troop positions. Renjun glanced towards the throne, where the King had been sitting ever since he gave Renjun his orders. He hadn’t said much since then, seemingly trusting his generals to give orders in his stead. Idly Renjun wondered if he was aware of the severity of the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite any advice or insights, Renjun had to offer, the sheer numbers of the enemy had pushed their army back to the gates separating the first and second wards. They were surrounded, and at the rate things were progressing, defeat seemed inevitable. The King had adamantly refused to even consider the idea of surrender when he’d first brought it up, but the direness of the situation had Renjun seriously debating asking again. At some point over the past hours, his priority had turned from offering advice to minimizing casualties, and he was loath to sacrifice more lives to a lost cause.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced back at the table, looking over the updated map. The Southern section had only advanced and appeared to be close to breaching the wall between wards. He started mentally preparing himself to bring up the subject of surrender again and- </span>
  <em>
    <span>wait.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That crest</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun leaned forward, eyes glued on the piece of paper next to the figurines outside the ward gate. If he recalled correctly, this particular division appeared to be leading most of the surrounding ones. One of the generals had given orders for soldiers to note the crests of each division they encountered- that way they could track their movements. No one had been able to get a clear glimpse of this particular division’s crest. Until now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hurriedly scanned the map again, tracing their steps from the first time they’d been sighted until now, recognizing and mapping out the familiar formation patterns. He took in their current position, and a mad hope rose inside of him as he double-checked his findings. After a split second of debate, he turned to the nearest general.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to order a charge here,” Renjun pointed at the ward gates, “And don’t stop until you’ve pushed them back at least a full ward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The general stared at him in confusion. On some level it made sense- Renjun was asking for a rallying charge in the midst of a retreat- but they didn’t exactly have time to debate the merits of an attack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, pushing this division back is our best chance. They’ll fall, I promise, we just need to act now before the window closes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Explain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s heart leaped into his throat as he turned to face the King. The Northern Leader looked more interested than he had the entire night. Renjun knew he had one shot to convince him that this was the best move, the only move if they were to stand a chance at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This division, I recognize their crest. The other divisions follow their lead. Up until now, they’ve had the advantage of a charge, but if their commander feels overwhelmed he’d rather retreat than risk the lives of his men. The other troops will follow him, so if we catch them off guard and push them back at least a ward, the rest will be unsteadied. It would give us a chance to regroup.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun took a deep breath, slightly winded. The King’s face was unreadable, and the silence stretched and twisted as the whole room waited for his answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know that division will retreat?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was coming from the general Renjun had spoken to first (he couldn’t for the life of him recall his name). Renjun turned back towards him, urgency coloring his tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve heard of their commander. He’s one of the most cautious ones and he refuses to risk his men’s lives more than necessary. They couldn’t have expected to get this far- he won’t want to push his luck. If it looks like he’ll be overwhelmed, then he’ll retreat. The other divisions will follow his lead, and we’ll be able to secure at least the second ward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The general opened his mouth, no doubt to ask questions that Renjun would struggle to answer or to further pick apart his strategy but the King beat him to it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s mouth snapped shut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was he sure that this would work? Was he absolutely sure their commander would retreat instead of pressing forward? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was he sure that this was the best chance he could give them? The best option he could offer? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun inhaled. Met the King’s gaze evenly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll have to be a real threat, so we’ll need to send everyone we can. But yes. I am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The King stared impassively at him for several moments. For perhaps the first time since he’d come to the palace, Renjun didn’t look away first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seemingly satisfied with whatever he found in Renjun’s eyes, the King turned to the generals.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do it. Send every man we have.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your Majesty-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s an order.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The closest general bowed and turned to a messenger to relay more detailed orders. The King turned around and sat back down on the throne.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun exhaled. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The waiting is the worst part. Because of the severity of the situation and the importance of the charge, communications go dark. Once the orders have been given there won’t be any updates until they’ve either won or lost. All Renjun can do is sit and wait. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still doesn’t know what time it is. Now that he has a moment to think, he tries to figure it out. The South would’ve waited until dark to attack, and it had been a few hours before they realized what was happening. By the time the King summoned him, it had probably been around an hour or so past midnight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d spent the next several hours in the throne room, frantically trying to find anything that would help. If he had to guess, the sun would be rising soon. Not that he could see it here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun found himself idly hoping that he would be able to watch the sunrise. It wasn’t very likely. He honestly didn’t know what would happen next. Even if his ploy succeeded, they were still vastly outnumbered. It would only buy them time. What exactly they could possibly do with that time, he didn’t quite know. There was no way out of the city, and with the King’s refusal to surrender, it appeared that their defeat would be bloody. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From the moment he’d taken a good look at the map, Renjun knew deep down that the King would not be able to win this one. He knew better than to voice this revelation, but now he could practically feel the ending approaching. He wondered what it would look like for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Time passed. Renjun stares at the unmoving figures on the map and imagines the warm orange color the horizon would be painted with when the sun finally rises. Northern mornings were the coldest he’d ever witnessed, but they were also some of the most beautiful. The sun would reflect off of the ice and snow, causing the whole spectacle to be twice as brilliant. And when the skies were clear, the colors would be so indescribably vivid with nothing to block them. No matter where Renjun ended up, he knew he would miss the Northern sunrises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, the doors to the throne room slammed open. Renjun jerked to his feet, along with all the inhabitants of the room. One of the generals stepped in front of him and Renjun stood on his tiptoes to see over the man’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldiers poured into the room. They were covered in dirt and blood, and some were even wearing masks. It took Renjun a moment, but then realization flooded over him. These were not their men.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mass parted and a man stepped forward. He was wearing armor, but nothing covering his face. Renjun inhaled sharply. He hadn’t met the man in person before but had seen enough paintings to recognize him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lee Minhyung. King of the East. Standing in the capital’s throne room surrounded by </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>soldiers, with no one moving to stop him, which could not mean anything good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyung strode forward, only stopping at the foot of the throne. He looked up at the King, almost expectantly, and appeared to be….. waiting? The King himself appeared to be at a loss for words at the abrupt intrusion and only stared back at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you nothing to say?” Minhyung’s voice was clear, ringing out through the room. His words seemed to bounce off the walls and reverberate, surrounding Renjun even though they were meant for the man on the throne. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The King merely gawks at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No attempt to bargain? No apology for crossing me? Not even any begging for your life?” Minhyung’s tone was mocking. That more than anything seemed to snap the King out of whatever trance he was in, and he bristled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never crossed you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You imprisoned my envoy. You charged him with treason without any evidence. You sentenced him to death on a whim-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was a spy!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not the one you were looking for.” Renjun tore his eyes from the scene at the throne to the new voice. It had come from the mass of soldiers blocking the door and he craned his neck to see the familiar tanned face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last time he had seen Lee Donghyuck, it was through the bars of a prison cell. The Eastern envoy had allegedly been caught red-handed copying maps of the palace and attempting to smuggle the information to the Southern army. He’d been sentenced to execution before he somehow escaped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The entire court had been somewhat wary of Donghyuck ever since he arrived around six months ago. Tensions with the East had been rising for some time, and the general consensus about Donghyuck was that he was there on behalf of their King to decide whose side they would decide to fight on. His presence had coincided with the King beginning to suspect a spy feeding information to the South and that was apparently too suspicious to be brushed aside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a surprise when he was arrested though. Renjun had liked Donghyuck, had always thought he was far too clever to be caught so obviously. In addition, the Eastern Kingdom still hadn’t decided whose side to fight on, if at all, so it made little sense for Donghyuck to be spying for the South as the King had alleged. Despite these inconsistencies, he’d been imprisoned three months ago, before being tried and sentenced a month later and escaping a month after that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck looks healthier than he did the last time Renjun had seen him. Probably something to do with not being in a prison cell. The way he holds himself is different too. During his time at court, he was always guarded and on edge. Oddly enough, he seems more comfortable in armor and surrounded by soldiers than he had ever been at the Capitol's court.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun is so caught up in staring at him that it takes a moment for Donghyuck’s words to sink in. When they do, he inhales sharply. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not the one you were looking for.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Did that mean-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t try to fool me into thinking there was another spy. No other information was leaked after we arrested you, and if there had been another we would’ve caught them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The King’s voice is sure, leaving no room for argument. Donghyuck though… Donghyuck merely smirks. He looks almost amused at the King’s surety. Renjun doesn’t want to consider the implications there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At this point, he doesn’t really think it matters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As scintillating as this conversation is, we have more pressing matters.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyung turns back towards the group of soldiers and addresses them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’ve already stated that all your King wanted was him-” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder dismissively at the throne,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-but if there is anything else now is the time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just one thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A masked man steps forward. A quick surgery of his armor tells Renjun that he is Southern and his trepidation only rises further when he notices the crest on his shoulder. The same crest that Renjun had been staring at for the past hour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man surveys the room, his eyes cold and piercing. Renjun is suddenly thankful for the general standing in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who gave the order for the charge?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which charge?” asks the Northern King. He still sounds haughty somehow, despite the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The final one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Renjun covertly looks around. There’s only one way out of the throne room and the soldier is very much standing in between it and Renjun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know I didn’t order it?” The King sounds offended. Renjun allows himself a stab of annoyance at the timing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier himself tilts his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We recovered the marching orders. They mentioned that an advisor had suggested the charge, not a general or commander, and certainly not the King.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My unit was the target of the charge. A few of our members were killed. I’d like to… pay my respects to whoever ordered it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s blood runs cold. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, they were supposed to retreat, without sustaining any casualties. Who was it? Who?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The King scoffs, oblivious to the maelstrom unfurling in Renjun’s mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, as the orders said, one of my advisers suggested it. Funnily enough, he’s a former Southerner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The King surveys the room and makes eye contact with Renjun. He points.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The general in front of him moves aside, and Renjun is suddenly faced with the heavy gazes of every Southern soldier in the room. He’s frozen, staring at the soldier that had stepped forward. Only the man’s eyes are visible, pinning Renjun to his spot. There’s a pregnant pause as he looks Renjun up and down before speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come with me.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They end up outside, in a courtyard. It’s still dark, and the chill cuts through Renjun like a knife, but the horizon is beginning to be painted the lightest of colors. Renjun’s gaze catches on it, and he’s transfixed for a moment before the soldier clears his throat. Aside from a few others, they’re alone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No witnesses </span>
  </em>
  <span>Renjun thinks grimly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You gave the order for the charge?” The soldier stands several yards away from him. His mask covers his face and a helmet covers his head. His voice is flat and emotionless, and his eyes blank.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun swallows before answering, aiming to keep his voice steady. He’s not above begging for his life, but he doubts that will keep him alive this time. Despite how present the possibility of death has been the past three years, facing it is still terrifying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I recommended it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well. Not that steady, but still good. He can’t exactly be picky right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You recommended it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And the King…. listened to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier sounded almost… confused that the King would listen to Renjun. Which made next to no sense, because as far as he knew, Renjun was an advisor. His whole job description was to offer advice for the King to listen to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier stares at him, eyes piercing. Renjun wishes he would take off his mask, just so he could have some idea what the man is thinking. He isn’t sure why the soldier’s bothering to question him instead of just killing him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you swear allegiance to him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> throws Renjun off guard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The King said you were a Southerner. Why did you change your allegiance?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Renjun looks up at the soldier in confusion. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why is he- why is he asking this?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you care?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier raises an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to kill me anyway, why does it-” He broke off, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why does it matter why I betrayed the South?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who said anything about killing you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun scoffs in disbelief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m in a secluded courtyard with no witnesses and I just admitted that I recommended the charge that killed several of your unit members. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>said </span>
  </em>
  <span>you wanted to ‘pay your respects’ It’s heavily implied. Why else would I be here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Answer the question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun gapes for a second, unsure what exactly is happening. The soldier just raises an eyebrow and gestures for him to respond. Renjun briefly contemplates refusing, or even lying, but doesn’t see the point, so he decides to answer with the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t have a choice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier tilts his head, gaze sharpening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Explain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I came here on a diplomatic mission with… with the old King.” He swallows, keeping his voice steady. Memories flash through his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Arriving after weeks of travel to a hostile welcome. Sitting in meetings meant to improve relations between the kingdoms instead of being filled with poorly concealed distaste. Being called to the throne room on the day before they were supposed to leave. Watching the argument between the two kings intensify. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was- I was there when he- when he was killed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The Northern King drawing his sword and running through the Southern one before he could react. Screams filling the room. Being held back as he frantically fought to get forward, so try and help. Watching the blood pool around his King’s corpse and knowing he was gone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you witnessed your King murdered and what? Turned around and declared allegiance to his killer?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun stiffens, anger lacing through him at the clear contempt in the soldier’s tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He offered- he offered to spare lives in exchange for loyalty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier hums. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know some would consider that… cowardly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Staying alive?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aligning with your King’s murderer before his corpse had cooled. Maybe you should’ve died for your King.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what good would that have done?” Renjun bit out, suddenly angry. The soldier looks almost caught off guard by his sudden outburst.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it would’ve been a grand gesture of loyalty, to refuse to abandon the South out of principle, but seems rather foolish to die for someone who is already a corpse. What exactly would’ve been accomplished anyway? Maybe I just thought I’d be of better use alive than dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier straightens up at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Better use to whom?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Renjun drops his gaze to the ground and bites his lip, remaining silent. When he doesn’t answer, the soldier huffs and then starts pacing back and forth in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, to recap, you watched your king die in front of you, and then abandoned him to save your own life-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun takes in a breath and then exhales, trying to calm down. He wasn’t sure what it was about the soldier’s tone that bothered him so much, but he needed to control his outbursts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t my life that the King offered to spare.” He grits out, keeping his voice even.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then whose?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said he’d spare the lives of the entire diplomatic party if a single member would forsake the South and pledge allegiance to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you did?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, no one else was going to.” Even years of court training cannot fully keep the exasperation out of his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier stares at him. His gaze is heavy and Renjun once again wishes he would take off his mask so his face would be visible. He waits for the soldier to ask another question, but the man continues to survey him wordlessly. Renjun digs his nails into his palms and debates if he should ask the question that has been haunting his mind since the soldier had spoken in the throne room. This would probably be his last chance to, and he would likely be killed soon, so he might as well. The man showed no sign of asking any more questions and the silence was becoming stifling and-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When- when you said members of your unit had been killed...who did you mean?” His voice, despite his best efforts trembles and Renjun, curses it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyone, in particular, you’re asking for?” The soldier sounds surprised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun swallows. They’re practically alone in a secluded courtyard. No one else will hear them. He’s probably going to die soon. And at this point, it doesn’t matter if anyone finds out. Plus, if he wants to know he needs to ask before the soldier starts wondering why Renjun wants to know the fate of a single enemy soldier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your commander.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier straightens. Something flashes in his eyes, something Renjun can’t place. His gaze flickers over Renjun once, twice, before switching to something over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you ask him yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s breath catches in his throat, and he momentarily freezes before whirling around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are three soldiers standing behind him, all in nondescript armor, all with their faces covered. Renjun’s gaze flies over them, trying to find something to tell them apart, to distinguish the one he was looking for from the others. They don’t move, don’t remove the masks or anything, and Renjun’s shock and hope give way to irritation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which one is he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t tell?” The soldier’s voice comes from behind him, clearly mocking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re all wearing the same armor and covering their faces. How exactly am I supposed to tell them apart, let alone distinguish someone I haven’t seen in three years?” Renjun spits out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very well.” The man must make some kind of gesture because the soldiers all remove their masks. Renjun’s heart pounds, as they look up at him, and he recognizes-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-none of them. He recognizes none of them. They’re all unfamiliar faces, looking blankly at him and he doesn’t recognize </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>of them, doesn’t see the face he’s so desperately looking for. The shock abides, and anger rises to take its place, hot and sharp and clawed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this a joke!?” He whirls around to face the man who had been questioning him. He dimly registers the other soldiers being dismissed, his attention focused on the masked one in front of him. He says nothing, still gazing at Renjun, eyes unreadable, and Renjun’s fury rises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this a goddamn joke to you!? This isn’t fucking funny you piece of shit! Where is he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun glances frantically around the empty courtyard, still searching for something that isn’t there. He tries to calm his heart, tries to steady his breathing, tries to control his rage, and steady his voice to get the next words out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, if he’s dead just- just tell me, don’t jerk me around, don’t get my hopes up-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to see your reaction.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun blinks, still breathing heavily from his tirade.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to see my-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes and now that I’ve seen it I have one more question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said I have a question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you- are fucking kidding me?” Renjun snaps, equal parts disbelief and anger. He can’t tell- </span>
  <em>
    <span>because of that goddamn mask-</span>
  </em>
  <span> but he thinks the soldier is smirking. Renjun distantly wonders if this is all a fever dream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, to recap, you came here with the old King of the South as part of a diplomatic mission three years ago. When he was murdered, you pledged allegiance to the North's King in order to save the lives of the rest of the diplomatic party. You then served the King well enough that he listened to your suggestion of a final charge despite you having little experience with battle strategy. Correct?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that your question?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I correct?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun debates whether to refuse to answer him or demand answers about the soldier’s commander, but ultimately decides it’s not worth the effort. Besides, he would probably be ignored anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier stares at Renjun, then appears to come to a decision and seemingly nods to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My question is-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reaches up and takes off his helmet, revealing a mop of bright white hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-at exactly what point during all of this-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldier grasps his mask with one hand and tugs it off. Renjun’s heart stops.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-did you decide to become a spy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun is frozen, mouth open in shock and confusion at both the words and the face in front of him. The face of the man he had been so frantically looking for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Na Jaemin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>King of the South.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Renjun feels like all the air has left his lungs, his voice breathless. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How is this possible? How- what- is this real?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stares, jaw slack in shock, at Jaemin- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaemin- </span>
  </em>
  <span>who is </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He’s grown since Renjun last saw him. Even with the armor covering his entire body, Renjun can tell he’s taller and bulkier. And his face- it’s more defined, almost sharper. His cheekbones and jawline are sharp angles, and his skin is clearly tanned. His hair is a startlingly vivid white, and falls almost over his eyes, covering his eyebrows. Even from the distance Renjun can tell his lips are chapped and his skin dirty with sweat and grime, but his eyes- his eyes are somehow exactly the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun has dreamed of those eyes, for years, had prayed he would be able to see them again, and feared he never would.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now they’re staring back at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Renjun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God his</span>
  <em>
    <span> voice.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It’d been muffled by the mask, but now that he can hear it clearly Renjun can’t believe he hadn’t recognized it. It’s deeper, more refined than the younger, higher-pitched one he remembered so fondly. He can’t breathe-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaemin</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s jaw twitches, but other than that it’s his only reaction. It abruptly reminds Renjun of their circumstances, of what exactly has transpired in the last hours and he comes back to reality rapidly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What-what do you mean?” His voice is still shaky, but he manages to focus on Jaemin’s question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When did you decide to become a spy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The urge to deny has been hardwired into Renjun’s bones at this point, and the words leave his mouth before he can even think of stopping them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s eyebrows raise and he actually chuckles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you honestly believe you can lie to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then how- how did you-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin huffs out a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously? Renjun, of course, I knew it was you. What else would you be doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun frowns, a wave of indignation briefly washing over him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What else would I be- serving the King! How could you know for sure? Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I actually betrayed the South?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you would never betray me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun freezes, a retort dying on his tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I always knew you would never betray me.” Jaemin continues, taking a step forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When the news came, when they told me that my father had been murdered and you had sworn to serve his killer, I knew it was a lie. I knew you would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>do something like that, let alone to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Then I read your letter, and it took me about two seconds to realize it wasn’t actually you who had written it and I just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>that it wasn’t true.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At first I thought that you were being held, prisoner. We were preparing for war, and you were so far away, and I couldn’t- no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t ride off and storm the castle to get you back. So I spent my time hoping you would escape yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chuckles ruefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cause if you were being held captive, I knew you’d be fighting tooth and nail to get back to me. You’re so </span>
  <em>
    <span>fierce </span>
  </em>
  <span>Renjun, so goddamn fiery and brave and it would be just like you to single-handedly get yourself out, not sit around and wait for me to come to rescue you. I woke up every morning praying that this was the day you would walk into the castle and tear me a new one for making you do all the work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Time went on, and nothing happened. I was fighting a war and you were on the other side and I had </span>
  <em>
    <span>no idea</span>
  </em>
  <span> what was happening to you, or if you were even okay. Even worse, I had no way of figuring anything out. We had a few informants, but they were all low level and even then, finding out if you were okay wasn’t a priority. It killed me, to have potential access and not be able to use it to try and get to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin takes another step forward</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then one day, out of the blue, we received a letter containing detailed troop movements. No signature. Naturally, we thought it was a trap, and disregarded it. And then, three days later, there was a whole battalion coming from exactly where the letter had said they would.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Those letters kept coming. No signature, no way to get in touch with the sender, but every single one of them was accurate. Every single one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun takes a shaky breath. Jaemin’s gaze pierces him. Behind him, the horizon grows lighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew it was you by the third one. I didn’t have any proof of course. You’re far too clever to leave even the slightest hint of a trail. But it all made sense. Why you were still in the castle, why you continued to serve him. And as much as I hated the thought of you in such a dangerous position-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can take care of myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, believe me, love, I know you can. I’m not doubting you Renjun- I never have. And I know that we would never have gotten as far as we did without you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you wouldn’t have.” Renjun allows a hint of smugness to creep into his voice. Judging by Jaemin’s answering smile, it wasn’t that subtle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Still, it drove me crazy. The idea that you were risking your life to help me, and there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t try and contact you- it might blow your cover. I couldn’t physically come to you. All I could do was wait for the next message to come. Every single time a letter arrived, with detailed troop movements, strategies, even a battle map, it was almost like I could breathe again because I knew that you were alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another step forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, after Donghyuck was captured you went silent. We didn’t receive anything for </span>
  <em>
    <span>three months</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and they were the worst three months of my entire life. The general consensus was that you’d finally been caught. I could barely eat or sleep, and I can’t even remember the number of times Jeno talked me out of attacking the Capitol. </span>
  <em>
    <span>We don’t have any information, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he kept saying, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no maps, no troop numbers, no way in, no advantage.</span>
  </em>
  <span> We’d been so close to gaining the East in an alliance too, but then Donghyuck was captured and Minhyung wouldn’t move against the King until he was safe. Everything was falling apart, everything we’d worked for, and then a week ago I woke up, and low and behold, the Eastern envoy was in my camp with detailed maps of the Capitol, a way around the guards and into the city, hell, even a way into the Palace. It was everything Jeno had told me we didn’t have, everything we needed to attack.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin takes three steps forward this time, coming to a halt a few feet in front of Renjun and tilting his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I briefly entertained the thought that you might actually be magic. But no, you’re just...that good. That incredible.” His voice is filled with a mixture of awe and adoration. Renjun ducks his head, ears burning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was just careful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin huffs out a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You broke perhaps the most prominent prisoner out of the dungeon, got him out of the city safely, and gave him the information necessary to bring this war to a swift end, all without leaving a single trace. Donghyuck didn’t even know who you were; he never saw your face. And he was actually sent there to spy, he didn’t just decide to take it up himself as you did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which brings me back to my question. When did you decide to become a spy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun swallows, his mood suddenly somber.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A few months after they killed your- after they killed the old King.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin visibly stiffens that the mention of his father.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When they- when they killed him, the soldiers had to hold us back. All of us, we were- we did </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> we could to try and stop it but- but-” Renjun bites down on his lip and takes a deep breath steadying himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After it was done, the King- he was… impressed by our ‘gesture of loyalty. Those were the </span>
  <em>
    <span>exact </span>
  </em>
  <span>words he used. He wanted to see if he could make any of us change our allegiance so soon after our King’s death. The idea </span>
  <em>
    <span>amused </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. He tried a few different strategies, but no one- we laughed at him. That angered him, and the next thing I knew we all had knives at necks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, then he said, that if one person would step forward, and swear to forsake the South, he would let the rest go. If not, we would all die.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I considered it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin inhales sharply and Renjun hurries to keep talking before he interrupts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really did, for a moment. Dying, just to tell him to shove it. But then…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun raises his gaze to meet Jaemin’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I thought of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s eyes widen, his mouth falling open as he lets out a soft </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought about how I’d promised to get back in time for your coronation, and I thought about the last time you kissed me, and I- I wanted to see you again. I didn’t want to die. But no one else was stepping forward. No one was volunteering. And I wanted to live. For you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I stepped forward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time Renjun takes the step closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know what I was doing at first. What exactly serving him would entail. I honestly debated killing him. I even stole a knife from the kitchens and everything. But then I realized that it would be obvious. They’d probably kill me, if not the rest of the party. And even then, they’d still be fighting the war.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I put on an act. I made him think I’d given up, that I’d been broken down by fear. After a few months, he started bringing me into strategy meetings and such. He wanted to show off his docile little Southern pet. I would sit there and listen, and it took me about two meetings to realize what exactly I could do with that information. From then it was only a matter of finding a way to get it out of the castle. Your father had set up a way to get information out of the city, but I wasn’t allowed to leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you get it out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One of- one of the last things your father did was visit an orphanage. He found this boy, Chenle. He’s Jisung’s age. His parents were Southerners who moved to the Capitol, so your father felt the need to help him. Chenle, he’s- he’s smart. He’s so smart. He taught himself to read and write and knows the way around this city better than anyone. I tried to get him out, right after it all happened, but I couldn’t. So I claimed he was my personal servant and hired him. He figured out what I was trying to do pretty early on, and volunteered to help. I didn’t want to risk his life too much, so I just had him smuggle the information out of the castle. Still, I wouldn’t have been able to do this without him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin frowns, furrowing his brow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But if the King thought you were intimidated into service, how did you convince him to order the charge?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t want to lose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s frown only deepens, and Renjun feels the urge to laugh at how lost he looks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I saw your division’s crest, on the recon reports. I- I had no way of knowing if you were still with them, but I had a feeling you would be. You were so close, and I knew that you just needed a little push to win. It was a matter of if, not when. The King knew that too. Any sane man would have surrendered already, but he refused to. He refused to even consider the idea of defeat. So I offered him an option, one that was supposed to push you back. It was the closest thing he would get to a victory, and he bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Supposed to push me back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told him if he mustered every soldier he had left and charged, your unit would retreat rather than stand and fight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And he bought that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I sold it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s mouth curls into a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m guessing you left out the bit about how faking a retreat and encircling the enemy was how I beat you at chess for the first time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I might’ve forgotten to mention that part.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s smirk softens into a fond smile. Renjun feels warmth wash over him, as the sun inches slightly higher.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So what happens now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean what happens next? What- what do we do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, we’ve won the war. I imagine there will be a lot of politics. We’ll decide the fate of the North- whether we combine the Kingdoms or replace the King, or leave them be. Then I take you home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Back to the South.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun swallows apprehension washing over him in a rush, extinguishing any warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you want to do that?” He whispers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Jaemin’s voice is hard, harder than Renjun’s ever heard it. An affronted expression crosses his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin I’m- I’m a traitor. I forsake the South in front of an entire court, minutes after my King had been murdered.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin lets out a disbelieving scoff, taking a step forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You saved the lives of yourself and an entire royal party.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I served in the court of the North for </span>
  <em>
    <span>three years.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Renjun’s voice rises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You spent almost that entire time as a spy, by your own volition. The information you gathered helped win the war.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“During the battle, I advised the King. I contributed to the formation of attack plans.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You convinced the King to give the order that sent the North’s army into a trap.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re the King of the South</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You just won a war. You are in a position to do so many great things. You shouldn’t ruin that by associating yourself with a known traitor.” His tone is desperate at this point, but Renjun doesn’t care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin doesn’t say anything. He carefully studies Renjun for a moment, searching for exactly what Renjun doesn’t know. When he speaks again, his voice is guardedly even.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Renjun, do you want to stay here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a loaded question, isn’t it? Jaemin probably hadn’t considered the possibility before, but now that Renjun’s thinking about it he knows Jaemin is too. And as much as Renjun wants to throw himself at Jaemin and never let go, if there’s the possibility of hurting him, of inviting criticism about his leadership, his judgment, his capability to rule, Renjun knows he will hold himself back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it’s better for you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to stay here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun pauses. His brain is screaming at him to lie, to spare Jamein further turmoil, but the look on Jaemin’s face is going straight to his heart. Fuck, just the idea of spending the rest of his life away from him </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurts.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s face hardens in determination then, and he strides forward until he’s scarcely a foot away from Renjun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I made myself clear enough earlier. Yes, this war was started because my father was murdered. But the reason why I kept it going, why I kept fighting, was for you. Because, no matter the circumstances, no matter the odds, you belong by my side. In every life. Renjun, you are all I have ever wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He steps closer, hand coming up to caress Renjun’s cheek, and he relaxes into it. Not a single cell in his body can protest Jaemin’s touch after so long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When I saw you in the throne room, it was like I could breathe for the first time in three years. I don’t care what other people will say. I don’t even care what they’ll think. I want you Renjun. I have always wanted you and I will continue to want you by my side for the rest of my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s hands come up to grip Jaemin’s armor, anchoring him amidst the turmoil in his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not the same.” He manages to choke out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve played this- this </span>
  <em>
    <span>role</span>
  </em>
  <span> for three years. I’ve lied and stolen and cheated and killed. That boy, the boy that you held on to for three years, the boy that you fought to get back to- I’m not him. I don’t know if he still exists.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want the Renjun from three years ago. I want the Renjun standing in front of me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because he’s you. Because no matter what, no matter what you’ve gone through, the fundamental parts of who you are will never change. I know you’ve been hiding, for so long, but I can still see bits and pieces of the real you shining through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"See, you’re so brave and selfless Renjun. So fundamentally good. You sacrificed your future to save the lives of adults who were too proud to do it themselves. You spied on my behalf for years, not because I asked you to, but because it was the only thing you could do to help me. You did that all by yourself and refused to endanger the life of someone you’d only know for a few months. And even after all that, you were willing to sacrifice your happiness because you thought it’d be better for me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You’re clever and wily enough to fool the King into trusting you, and then sabotage him right under his nose. He still doesn’t know it was you. My entire command wants to knight you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, they do not!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin laughs, a real one, and Renjun finds himself smiling just because of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Renjun, I think you underestimate the effect you had. Everything I had, everything I used to bring this all crumbling down, you gave to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s other hand comes up to cup Renjun’s face, and the look he gives him is so full of love it dispels any doubt Renjun ever had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And above all, you’re so, so goddamn </span>
  <em>
    <span>fierce.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Nothing could make you lose that. Hell, you thought I brought you here to kill you, and you still snapped at me without hesitation. You didn’t even know who I was, and when you did, even after three years, you still put me in my place. That’s what I loved about the Renjun from three years ago, and that’s what I love about you now. You’ve never once bowed to me simply because of my crown. You made me </span>
  <em>
    <span>earn</span>
  </em>
  <span> everything, made me fight for you. I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> fight for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun tilts his head forward, his forehead touching Jaemin’s. He closes his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I’ll need time. I’ve been playing a role for so long, it’ll be hard to just… stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“However long it takes Renjun. We can take it slow. Please, just promise me you’ll try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun inhales.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants this. He wants this more than he’s ever wanted anything. And as much as he’s scared of how his presence might affect Jaemin’s reputation, he knows it probably won’t be as bad as he fears it might be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there’s Jaemin. Beautiful, stunning, ethereal Jaemin, who is looking at him with all the hope and love in the world in his eyes. Who fought for years to get to him, who never lost faith in him, who against all odds </span>
  <em>
    <span>still wants him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After everything he’s done, every metaphorical attack he’s launched against the North whilst pretending to serve it, Renjun is so, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He’s tired of playing a role, of pretending, of fearing for his life every day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The war is over. He wants to go home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can go home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun looks up at Jaemin, the rising sun illuminating his head like a crown. He’s no longer cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the first time I've tried like ANY world-building so....ta-da! All the strategy stuff is pretty brief cause I don't really know how to do that...<br/>please let me know if I made any errors so I can erase them from existence. also, I have a plan for one more scene from Jaemins POV to wrap this up, but I don't know when I'll be able to write/edit/publish it. I might make it a second chapter, or just tack it onto the end, so if you're interested in that keep an eye on my twitter or just check back on this sporadically.<br/>also, I probably forgot to explicitly state this, but Jisung is Jaemin's little brother, and the battalion that Renjun trained with included both Jaemin and Jeno, in addition to some other characters</p><p>Lastly, I crave validation so comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated ;)</p><p>my <a href="https://twitter.com/kpoppin_krampus">twt</a><br/>my <a href="https://curiouscat.me/ezbrzvzy">cc</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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